What do i do with myself now?

I used to abhore the military services and all that they represent...now, i want in to them.
and badly.
the way i see it, im in need of some hardcore discipline and they were just the right people to teach me, so i ready myself for joining up in one of the many branches and then chose the navy as the one for me because i like ships and my dad, his dad, and his dad's dad were all in it. I was actually quite excited, it seemed to me that i actually had a purpose after graduating besides going away to college and failing, or staying here and going to college and failing.
but like always, my plans have a wonderful way of never working out.
this time, yeah no different.
they rejected me from the navy on the pretense of me having asthma. Not saying that i dont, because i did, when i was little, and it was a minute case that came about because of my parents constantly smoking around me. But i have not used my inhalor for years, i mean my pediatric doctors last records of me getting looked at for asthma was like when i was around 8 or something.
but my stupid fucking car accident papers are supposibly filled with mentions of asthma. so i got rejected by the navy because of the incompentency of our local hospital, and their remarks on me having asthma and using an inhalor..which i havent in years.
I am so disappointed about this.
so very very disappointed.
i dont know what to do with myself now, i am quite sure that college now is not the right choice for me as i have really no self will...so what does that leave me to do?? what am i supposed to make of my life now? i am so very confused, its like i dont want to deal with these questions now when the burn of rejection is still immensely felt, but if i dont now, when will i? and as i try to think of the options i have, none of them look apeasing, and none offer the comfort i used to expect when contemplating my future. I am so desolate about this whole situation, i mean what kind of moron filled out my hospital papers? am i to be haunted by this stupid car accident for the rest of my life? how am i supposed to move on and get over what happened if it keeps finding little ways to slap me in the face and tell me that it will never just be over. I'm tired of all the happenings, i really just want my music to swallow me whole so i may live there in its safety and never have to deal with such awful implications and questions. My heart once again feels like its growing to an unhealthy size like its going to burst with all the feelings that my being contains. When will it all be simple again, and when will i find the right path to take? What if i dont want to carve my own but obediantly follow someone elses...no thats wrong, i could never obediantly follow another, but i atleast need help on how to carve my own path. Why must the people around us press upon us the need to grow up, but no one offers a hand in the process, no one offers advice, thinking that everyone will eventually and gracefully find their way. I am not that skilled, nor that brave, nor that smart, in the way of doing something in all its entirety like growing up by myself. i need help. doesnt everyone every once in a while?