If life was a class, i'd fail it..

So, i've come to a point in my life where i may be able to write down how i feel, how others feel, and pretty much make up and describe how imaginary people feel, but when it comes to speaking these so called feelings im left with nothing but an empty feeling and frustration...how to overcome that???

I figure one day i could be a brilliant writer, but idk if that means much to me if i cant adequately express with words --verbally-- what im trying to get across..every time i get to the brink of saying something special or describing how im feeling i get the tip-of-the-tongue sensation and its like all of my words and emotions silently slip out of my brain or something..maybe i should close my ears, thats probably their escape exit..i used to be good at this, i could sit and talk for hours about how i felt on situations and different things and now its like i get to the point where im going to say something personal and i run face first into a brick wall..if this keeps happening im going to end up looking like a pug dog..

and so here i sit agonizing over the things that need to be said and the unspoken feelings that need to be shared and all i really realize is that i am this much closer to going crazy and being like fuck it, maybe this isn't worth the pain..