my new aspiration--to become a robot.

ehhhh i was going to put another story i wrote up here today..but now im not feeling so sure bout that.

so instead i have decided to blurb upon things that have no point.

take my rollercoaster emotions for instances,

or the fact that i keep having weird random conversations with a guy that i dont know.

Or the real kicker,

that i feel totally retarded when i post things like this because i want to seem deep and thoughtful when really,

im not.

So heres to the people who love to complain about things they can change and just choose not to. I know how you feel, i am right there with you.

Now about those robots--

Robots have it easy, they are programmed to do a certain thing, and they execute it efficiently. Robots don't have to worry about silly things like emotions, and they're not really superficial. They dont need to learn from their mistakes because really they don't make any. They are perfect, and in-human, cool and collected. It just seems like a simplier life and better idea.

Also can't forget about my grudge against wishes--

Wishes are a waste of breath and time. A waste of thoughts and a waste of desire. They dont come true, and people who believe in them are delusional. In this life, all we can do is try as hard as we can to make what we want happen. Wishes dont fit into that lifestyle. Wishes are just a crutch, a reason to not really go after what you want, because they replace the action with passiveness. They take fate to the extreme. Wishes are just disappointments we let ourselves feel, that we let ourselves believe in, only to have reality slap us in the face when we realize, that that wish we so hoped would come true, will not until we ourselves put it into motion. A wish is just a lazy person's goal or aspiration.

and finally the touchy feely stuff that is always going to be on here cause im forever going to be a huge hopeless romantic.

i usually dont feel safe around people. I look at them, and i forsee how they could hurt me if i let them. even when i was with people that i liked, it wasnt like a haven for my homeless heart in a storm, more like a temporary shelter from the rain. So to find a time when i felt completely relaxed with someone, to feel like i never wanted to move or get up, its alittle detrimental to my brain. I in all my years, cause there has been so many you know, have never felt as safe as i did, and i cant wrap my mind around that. not at all, not even a little bit. ive been thinking about the feeling since it happened, probably over thinking and giving attributes to situations that dont deserve them. but i cant stop. and this sorta thinking hurts. it was alittle like someone was leading me away from the temporary shelter, holding an umbrella over my head and everything, then halfway there took off running and left me in the rain to wallow.

btw if anybody has a good topic for a narrative essay please let me know im alittle stuck and i have to turn it in tomorrow.