..Word to your moms..i came to drop bombs..

So, I'm at a cross road, and i have no clue what to really do. Giving up before i get hurt seems like the best idea but hey, when do i ever give up haha..jk..i give up all the time.. The thing is, i dont want to give up this time, i think that he might actually be worth it so what do i do?

As of right now kody is not talking to me.

And i dont know why

And its killing me slowly haha (wow thats not dramatic at all!!)

SO...anyways..my power went out last night, total bummer, sooo i ended up going to be early for like once in my life. And today, I'm still tired. It's freaking amazing.

I also am now assuming that im loosing my mind, i used to have a room full of candles but i packed them all away in a fit of rage and runaway scare, and now i cannot remember where i placed them. I was looking around last night in the dark using my celly as a flash light, and well needless to say i got no where. So it is in my good opinion that my brain is officially crapping out on me...

I have those times where i listen to a song and it basically sings my feelings, hopes, dreams, and nightmares to me, well yeah i found one of those songs yesturday by Fall Out Boy and i have this one part of the lyrics that just keep playing over and over in my head..(Inbetween the lean like a cholo lyrics that spontaneously erupt throughout my mind..) The part where patrick just sings, "I'm addicted to how i feel when i think of you!" and it works for me. maybe just maybe, my feelings aren't actual feelings maybe they're just me over reacting to the wonderfull emotions that are coming from my infatuation.

boy do i feel shallow right now..

So again with my problem that is Kody. I had THE stupidest dream last night, which is amazing cause i dont usually dream, and it was all about him basically.

I can only remember bits and pieces of it now but it went along the lines of him kissing my best friend in front of me and some other people and everyone just kept looking at eachother and talking like nothing was at all wrong with that. I had that crazy beating heart feeling and although i was smiling i felt like i wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole..i remember running from the place and ending up at some store like raleys or something like that and then watching the power go out..it was weird because the power started going out far away and then felt like it was getting closer..all in all i am at the extremes obviously and i need something to calm me the eff down..

And since today i was quite ego centric..tomorrow i shall blog about an issue or something of that nature that has nothing to do with my silly boy problems..