I'm getting nervous. If i fall for this guy as hard as I think i am and he doesnt catch me, i think i'm going to end up very damaged. Not that i'm not already, it'll just be worse, and i will be as close to a heartbreak as i've ever gotten. Why him? What does he have that's driving me nuts? I think it's the fact that he is such a nice guy and i actually feel safe around him. And I think we will get close, or atleast I will think that we are close and then he will either back away, or pull to close.
And i will get hurt.
Boys like him can always find another girl to love. but me? It will take a long time to find another like him, another one that i can feel safe around enough to let them in. But I dont want to be just another girl to him. I want to be THE girl, the one he may not want to spend the rest of his life with, but who he wants to be with now, and love now. I want to be the girl that he will remember for years to come as a happy time in his life. And not as a regret. I am trying to no clue him in to how far i am gone with my feelings for him. I dont want to scare him off. I want him to understand that I am new at this intense feeling thing, and that I am trying to tone myself down. But it's hard. He makes it very hard for me to control myself. I dont want to be consumed with love, I want to keep my head. But i guess i dont always get what i want.
1 comment:
Hmm im guessing maybe tony?? its cool that i could bring you two together isn't it?
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